Stepping Out

Tomorrow I step outside. 100 days of being in my house. I don’t mean, “I went to the grocery store near my house”…I don’t even mean I checked the mail. I literally mean, right here, inside my house. Been here the whole time. I did it largely for our family, and because it seemed pertinent to have one of us always at home and the hubs took care of grocery store needs – which is about the only thing he left for other than school.

I know the logic would have been if he picked up the dreaded virus, I would be exposed and what would this all matter anyway, but this is my internet space and my peace of mind – leave me be.

My perspective has changed on the world. I’ve sat inside and watched the market crash, aliens get verified by our government as a “thing”, been enthralled by the Yellowstone Volcano eruption forecast, watched a tropical storm threaten us (literally!) Day One of Hurricane Season, and my favorite…the murder hornets.

I also realized I don’t need all the “stuff” that I have to have. Nor do I need all the “busy” my calendar used to reek of. I realized I’m pretty good at being independent working from home. I confirmed my love for my husband, our child, rain and coffee (in large quantities, all)

I lost my dog up to Heaven. The world lost George Floyd. I’ve seen peaceful protests and angry rioters both try to make their message known. I’ve watched our President fight those trying to stop business from thriving. I’ve seen #somegoodnews and #somebadnews. I’ve toed the balance beam between “Come back Normal Business Hours” versus “Please don’t let that Plague in my House”.

At some time though, we all have to step out. And I don’t mean leave the house. But in this case, I literally stepped out of my regular life for a moment and got a new look at it. I’m leaving this space with such a better sense of self, love of family and idea of who I’m going to be – both same and different, before and after.