Support Thyself.

Okay, dating month theme has completely fallen off the rails. I’ll bring it back when my heart is into it. Sorry to get you excited. But then again, sorry I’m not sorry.

As friends of mine who introduced me to this musician call him, “The Reverend” Paul Thorn was talking to me this morning. His song, “What Have You Done to Life Somebody Up?” really just came home today.

I’m pretty good at saying yes to everything. I’m pretty good at getting things done. I’m pretty good at annoying people with my enthusiasm to want to make the situation a better one with any idea in my toolbox.

So. After a trying week of most everything. I’m feeling not so great about myself. I wish I could throw the self-loathing confetti and get the pity punch flowing, but I’m just too tired or exhausted to fight my own fight any more.

Lots of good ideas have seen the death of their gusto and go-get-em enthusiasm this week. Here I sit, Monday, after ten days of blech now. There have been good moments, but then, I rise up, and get smashed down again. So here I sit, coffee in hand, still wondering how I can help others.

I want to not feel that feeling any more. You know, the drive and flame to succeed and challenge, to make better, to lift up others.

So this morning, I’ve already done the following with my 15 minute coffee break. Sent 5 emails containing Thank Yous, You’re Awesomes and Can’t Believe You Achieved Thats. Bought two small things on the internet who are going to make other people’s lives instantly a little happier. I’ve written myself a note and then promptly thrown it away that everything is ok.

Weird? Probably. But giving happiness to others fuels mine. But. In this dark moment, I want someone to want to lift me up too. I feel like that house on balloons in the movie UP! but need all them right now. With that sort of force from the right people.

Who are the right people? Heck. I want it to be all the amazing people who are trying right to help me put life together and become positive again. But then, the human, wants it to be the wrongers who wronged. How long will it take to accept that it ain’t gonna happen. Cause it ain’t.

Do I wait for karma or Jesus or timing? Do I just give up hope on the good vs. bad of the world? Meh. I don’t care anymore. I just don’t. But I do.

Now what.

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Back to Our Unregularly Scheduled Program

It’s been the week that tried my soul most. The one where I almost lost my best friend. or my world. or my happiness. or combinations thereof.

It’s been so confusing this week I don’t know what I can say, or can’t say or how to say what I want to say without saying it wrong. Let me just ramble, it’s my blog. So there.

Life is about learning to dance in the rain. Which is what I’m doing this week. It’s about not taking your toys and going home. Which I am trying desperately to share my legos nicely and without injury of anyone stepping on them.

Healing has started, and while I’m unsure if the trajectory is completely straight and without bumps or u-turns, or even a deer in the headlights…well. I’m here.

I’m trying.

Here’s the thing about the human spirit. Just when you think you’ve been crushed, pummeled, and just can’t do it anymore. When you thought all the worst of the worstest was behind you and then a large emotional Mack truck comes barreling down your perfect daisy-petal lined path of happiness. Well. WELL.

There is a ring I wear. That has the below phrase on it.

So.

It’s not about what I’ve been told not to do this time. I will heed all the wonderful honest and sometimes hard-to-take feedback that I got this week. I will absolutely cherish those folks who reached out to me and others in order to make this world a better place.

It’s what the negativity in this world had me even considering to be reality. The Earth can be a hurtful place. As much as I love Anne Frank’s quote, “Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.” But that said, i always revert to the most beautiful and simple quote I have heard: “Being nice matters.”

WATCH ME. I will laugh through the rain. I will rise up. I will smile. I will dance on through the fire coals. You cannot kill my spirit. You cannot kill the heart that I have. You will not get the best of me. I’ve been through plenty for my years. Do not judge this book by this cover. There is plenty more goodness and light in my life, and I will find hope in those who share it.

23.

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RePost: How I met Sir LAA | The Millionaire Matchmaker’s Top Tips to Finding True Love Online – Readers Digest

So I met my husband on Match.com. (Cue that song This will BE! An EVER-LAST-ING LOVE! and then the cute pictures of all the daters)

My headline Don’t Look Further – I Could Be Her. 

In my own words I’m a normal, energetic girl looking for a long term relationship – I am ready to experience what life has to offer with a great partner who wants to live happily ever after. Are you the gent I’m ready to meet? 

and he was.

But not without a little reading about how to do this stuff first. I had read Patty Stanger’s dating guides and felt like she had some solid advice. Put two photos only, one head shot, one full length! Be HONEST! Do not put your real name in your screen name! Make sure to avoid topics about where you live and work until you trust someone! All of these keep you safe and looking sane on these sites.

This shortened version on Readers Digest’s blog was a great start. Happy dating!

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Photographer Randee St. Nicholas

Your mom probably said this too, and Stanger backs it up. “If you go on a date with someone and he or she turns out to be a total dud—or worse, downright obnoxious—they may have a friend for you! Good looking, successful, funny people hang out with similar types. The best way to meet a guy is through a referral; before you know it, you’re six degrees-ing it. Dating online opens up so many possibilities for offline.”

Read more: http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/the-millionaire-matchmakers-top-tips-to-finding-true-love-online/#ixzz3EzOG7m11

http://www.rd.com/recommends/the-millionaire-matchmakers-top-tips-to-finding-true-love-online/

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End of Settling In

Tomorrow we’ll talk about what October’s theme is, let’s just say I’ve known Mr. LAA for a year now, so love is in the air. Hang tight.

So, settled in? I was almost up until the last day. I felt like my to-do list had waned and flagged a little in the light winds of my new found relaxation.

But then. I went to Walmart and instead of picking up “just” the items I needed, I found that I had ribbon for more wreaths, and some ornament making supplies. What is wrong with me people?

I know.

What did I learn?

That settling in and relaxing is a conscious state of needing to take the time to do nothing. What’s interesting though, is I got to the cashier lane, paid for my goods, walked sleepily out to the car (we had band til 12:30 AM folksies.) and realized she didn’t give me the bag with the craft stuff.

I took it as a sign, and picked up coffee on the way to work instead. Perhaps I learned a lesson after all.

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RePost: Finding even more Time | Find Time for Your Personal Life and Get a Handle on Your Out-of-Control Work Schedule – Lifehacker

I have to admit, I adore my day job, and I love what I do. I read this particular article in regards to my career as a “social bug”.

Let’s admit it, I want to do all the things. All the time. Every time. I don’t necessarily say “no” ever. To husband. To family. To friends. To everyone.

I try to manage myself so that everyone is getting what I can. Inevitably, it leads me to making decisions about what groups, friends, circles, etc… I’m able to participate in – both because they allow me to give the way I like to give, feel best about myself and contribute to my community.

This article really helps you put into perspective the respect you should give yourself in respecting your limits on time and getting burnt out happens, but being aware of what you sign up for, maintaining a healthy view of your needs for rest, and organizing yourself to ask for help when you need it are very important.

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Find Time for Your Personal Life and Get a Handle on Your Out-of-Control Work Schedule

Concentrate on quality of work over quantity. The person who builds a career on doing the most work commits to living on a treadmill. The work will never be done, and you will become known among your co-workers as someone who never turns down an assignment. Read: dumping ground. Quality is what matters. People don’t lose jobs for not working unpaid overtime-they lose jobs for not performing well at the most important times. Your resume is not a list of hours worked; it is a list of big accomplishments.

http://lifehacker.com/5745106/find-time-for-your-personal-life-and-get-a-handle-on-your-out-of-control-work-schedule

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WOTD: Acceptance

Acceptance: it is what it is what it is.

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Resolution Check: September

I know, it’s been awhile. Sorry.

1. I will be completing a photo journal rather than a written journal this year. Holy heck am I enjoying this project even more now that football season and school are back in full swing. Every night is a party of some sort – burger night, band practice, football game, pep rally! I don’t take all the photos to merit a full album page at every event, so this journal is definitely becoming the way to mark all the great moments in between the big productions.

2. I have two books – an autobiography and a recipe book as well as a photo book that I’m trying to finish. The bio has been printed! and it’s being read by the husband! Even better, the photo book has been printed and it’s arrived, in time for my mom’s birthday and already ordered by a few cousins of mine! Extra points for spending part of this month finishing up my own self-written cookbook. But there are no pictures, just stories, what do you think, is that allowable? 

3. I plan on running a half marathon.  So putting my mind to things… um. Yeah. Failing here. I’m back at the gym, I’m running with Sir LAA on weekends, but for the most part, I’ve actually stood up for myself and said that a half marathon may not actually be on my bucket list of things to make my life whole. But, having a family is, so watch for that to be a resolution next year.

4. Disneyworld. Seattle. Barcelona. Now we’re under consideration for our Christmas time away. We’ve decided that we’re going to spend Christmas together and hole up staycation style. I’m looking forward to board games, cocoa and gift giving. A dream Christmas, here I come, I’ve only waited my…whole life or you know. All the travels. All the memories. Paris one day, but for now, this is perfection.

5. Louboutins have been purchased. And now they’ve been worn. Check out those puppies. I wore them to the Inaugural Gala of the NOMADS in February. So it was not only a great happy-birthday-to-me gift, but it felt good to get that one down on film! These guys are a hoot to hang with, and the black tie event was a first for Sir LAA and I. Enjoyed thoroughly – even danced …in public. Don’t tell the other guys.  DONE!!

6. This blog. I know. I’m doing better! Not only am I making time for it, but I’m starting to love more and more the fun of finding things to tell you, or shape up articles in my head. Now I just need to market a little better, thoughts on that?  How do I get my name out there more, I want to make LAA worldwide.

7. I do have a crazy craft project that has been on my mind for awhile now. Make my own snow globe. Done. I’ve done it. I done that. Plus all the school projects supporting our Band family’s fandom!  I have one more craft that I’ve committed to…it’s a bag with all the patches I’ve collected. All of my supplies are at home, but this week folks…this week is so busy. Next week, and hopefully next month, I’ll report being craft-free, and wine drinking will become a new sport. :)

8. Oh yeah. I sold my house. And I got married. And we threw a small family reception this summer. AND the reception is done and dusted! Our honeymoon went perfectly. I’m finally getting all the albums and pictures and thank you cards straight. I’ve gotten my fall clothes out, I’m ready for a wonderful rest of year. Bring on the cold weather.

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